Her Son, the Captain
by MamzelleHermy
Summary: A little insight on what could life be when you're Winona Kirk and your son is the famous James T. Kirk. [SPOILERS FOR STAR TREK BEYOND]


_**Hi everyone, Trekkies from around the world!**_

 _ **So, this is my first ever Star Trek fanfiction! So be nice ;)**_

 _ **I admit that my Star Trek knowledge can be limited but, hopefully, you will like this little story that came to me after watching Star Trek Beyond (wasn't this film AWESOME?).**_

 _ **Anyway I'm feeling equally impatient and terrified at the prospect of you guys reading this story so I'm going to virtually shut up.**_

 _ **Credit to my Beta for finding the title to the story and correcting my timelines ;)**_

 _ **Enjoy!**_

 _ **P.S. : as many early reader noticed, I messed up Jim's birthday. All corrected now ;) Thanks :)**_

* * *

 **Her Son, the Captain**

Standing back, ramrod straight with hands crossed behind her in the usual relaxed position, a woman observed the stars above her, lost in her thoughts.

The closer the date approached January 4th, the more contemplative she became, often finding herself thinking about the what-could-have-beens. It has always been like that.

And if, for a long time, all Winona Kirk had felt in the early days of the new year was anger and a sense of wrongness, now she could at least feel thankful for what she had and not just sad for what she lost.

It shouldn't have taken so long to come to it, she reflected bitterly as a shooting star crossed the blackness of space. But neither should it have taken her youngest son (almost) dying for her opinion to change.

She was startled out of her thoughts by the sound of the observation deck sliding open.

"Lieutenant Commander." The salute was amical enough and she answered it with a nod.

"We'll be arriving at Starbase 023 in a few hours. I see that you did not apply for time off on it." The Captain commented, voice carefully lacking any judgement.

"I did not." She agreed.

She had no wish to participate in any memorial that would take place on it. Nor to be recognized and stared at.

A little voice in the back of her head whispered that she also didn't want to miss her sons' calls, should they happen.

Silence fell for some time as both officers let their gaze wander over the infinity of space.

"I heard the Enterprise will be docked at Yorktown for some time. I could ask for Lieutenant Danesk to establish a communication link for you."

The offer was kind. But unnecessary. It wasn't a Kirk's ways to do things like that.

"Thank you Captain but it won't be necessary. Captain Kirk will contact me if he wants to."

She hoped he still wanted to. Communication between them had always been… complicated. Not that it was completely her fault or his. It was just the way it was.

The Captain nodded.

"If that's all, my shift will begin in a few minutes, I'd better get going Sir."

While technically true, she still had plenty of time to reach her lab and would probably still be early. It didn't matter. It was better than discussing the state of her familial relationships with her commanding officer.

Exiting the room, she made her way through the familiar maze of corridors, nodding to the fellow crewmembers she encountered.

As expected, she arrived early at her post and used the time to exchange data with the previous shift officer.

After that, it was easy to settle in her work, letting the familiar movements and experiments fill her mind.

* * *

"Attention all crew." The voice of the Captain came through the speakers some two hours later, automatically make all activity stop in an effort to concentrate on the announcement. "We're ready to dock Starbase 023. Stand by for standard procedure."

Once the silence came back, everyone quickly found a chair as per regulations and a few minutes later they felt the usual small jolt indicated that their vessel was now successfully attached to a space dock.

Some of the younger Ensigns cheered at it, obviously very happy at the prospect of getting some time off the ship.

"Will you be getting down Ma'am?" The slightly accented voice of Ensign Vaught asked next to her.

Winona liked the girl well enough, she was intelligent and efficient, but while her natural curiosity was an asset in their work, it could be annoying outside of it.

"No, I won't." She answered, trying her best not to sound too cold. The Ensign didn't deserve to be the victim of her current emotional lack of control.

It seemed she did not quite succeed because the ginger haired woman quietly went back to her work, a blush colouring her high cheekbones.

The rest of the shift carried on in silence; Ensigns and Lieutenants picking up on their superior's mood.

When their reliefs arrived, Winona didn't linger. She craved the seclusion and solitude of her own room.

She entered the tiny room and released a long breath before letting herself fall onto her bed, eyes once more finding the vastness of space visible around the metallic structure of the starbase.

Without noticing it, the quiet sound of the ship's engines powering down lulled her to sleep.

* * *

The chime of her computer made her jump out of her deep sleep. It took a surprisingly long time for her to orient herself. She hadn't been sleeping well the past week and now that she had achieved sleep, her mind felt muddled even in awareness.

"Kirk." She answered, sitting down in front of her computer without checking the caller, hoping she didn't look too dishevelled.

"Hi mum." The voice made her heart beat faster and she fought not to grin childishly as the face of her younger son filled the small screen.

"Hi darling." The endearment fell easily from her lips but always sounded weird in the open and made Captain James Tiberius Kirk squirm in his chair.

Judging by the background, he wasn't on his ship. Probably somewhere in Yorktown.

They observed each other in an uncomfortable silence. The Captain finally cleared his throat.

"So… How are you? Still on that surveillance mission?"

She knew he knew the answer to the second question but answered it none-the-less.

"I'm fine. We're docked at Starbase 023 for the week before carrying on with the observation mission."

He nodded without further comment. She wondered for a moment what it would be like to have more easy flowing conversations with him.

"The Captain told me you are on the Yorktown." She asked when the silence became too oppressive. "Is it as impressive as they say?"

His eyes glittered with excitement, painfully reminding her of him as a child. Of how Georges was. She shook the thought away.

"Yes. And even more. It is really remarkable…"

He was obviously going to launch into a longer monologue but interrupted himself, glancing above the screen at what she guessed was a door. She repressed a spike of anger. It was rare enough that she was able to make him talk like that. She quickly blanked her face as he turned back towards the screen.

"Sorry mum, I have to go. They've intercepted a ship in distress."

She fought to keep the disappointment off her face.

"Of course. Yes. Go."

She couldn't read his face as he hesitated.

"Love you mum."

The words made her freeze and he disconnected the call before she managed to answer. Them Kirks weren't ones for sentiment and declaration of love. In fact, she could probably count on her fingers the number of times she had heard the words after Georges' death.

She reached up and only noticed she was crying when her fingers came back wet.

* * *

When the Captain came to find her in her lab 48 hours later, on Janury 4th itself, she felt her insides knot up in instinctual fear. She couldn't explain why or how but she just knew that something had happened to Jim. Because yes, she believed that the Universe could be that cruel.

She fought to keep her breathing under control as he led her into her small office, carefully closing the door behind them.

"Sit down please." He said gently but firmly.

She had half in mind to say she preferred to stay up but was too well trained to refuse a direct order.

"We've received word from Yorktown." He hesitated and Winona had a hard time trying not to shake the truth out of him. "They sent the Enterprise on a rescue mission in an uncharted nebula two days ago and still haven't got any contact with them… I'm sorry Lieutenant but… They are officially considered MIA. Starfleet has been notified and they will send their remaining most advanced ship to begin searching for them."

Winona felt cold shock spread through her. This couldn't be happening. She couldn't lose Jim like this. Not when she had just talked to him two days ago.

Not on his birthday.

The irony made her want to laugh.

"I think it would be best if you call on your replacement and go to your quarters Lieutenant."

She felt too numb to do anything else but nod.

"We'll keep you updated."

Once more she just nodded, gaze lost in memories, hearing Georges last words again and again, hearing _love you mum_ again and again.

A warm hand squeezing her shoulder made her jump.

"They'll find them Winona." The use of her first name shocked her out of her suffocating thoughts.

She forced herself up.

"Yes. Of course." She didn't believe her own words.

As if in a dream, she left her office without a salute, instructed her colleagues to call for her replacement and left without a backward glance.

Only once she was inside her room did she allowed her legs to stop carrying her weight and let herself fall down onto the cold floor, sobbing.

* * *

It took another 48 hours that Winona spent worrying herself sick before they heard some news. Unfortunately, but not quite unexpectedly for her pessimistic self, it came in the form of a distress signal broadcasted on every frequencies and coming from Yorktown.

The base was under attack from an unknown species. Requiring immediate assistance.

She could only feel dread and fear.

All those people.

Jim.

And then, when she had lost all of her hope to ever see her son again, the reports changed.

Distress signals stopped and stories began spreading. The USS Franklin had reappeared. Battled and only barely functioning. And on board, the remains of the USS Enterprise's crew.

Without caring for rank or property, Winona ran to the Communication hub, demanding the latest information.

What she read in the next hour both chilled her and warmed her.

Her son was alive.

He almost died, again, saving an entire starbase from an impossible situation and, with that, thousands of lives.

She fell down on a nearby chair. Her heart pounding, breathless, but smiling.

This time, when the Captain offered to establish a liaison with Yorktown, she didn't hesitate to say yes.

The minute it took before she could see her son with her own eyes felt like an eternity. When she did see his still heavily bruised face, she couldn't help the tears that fell from her eyes.

"Good God Jim!" She cursed in salutation.

It made him laugh. Laughing made him wince in pain.

"Hi mum." He answered with a small rueful smile.

She wanted to wring him out, scream at him for worrying her, again, like that.

But mostly she wanted to hug him tight enough for him to suffocate.

She exhaled a breath, wiping her eyes as she stared at him, taking in his youthful features. So much like his father but entirely his.

"Never do that to me again." She finally decided to say, just for the sake of it.

"You know I can't promise that." He answered in a low voice.

She shook her head. Of course, she knew it. It didn't change the fact that she had to say it.

A tired silence fell in the room. She could see that he was tired even if he was obviously trying his hardest not to show it.

"I'd better leave you to your rest. I can see that Doctor McCoy still has some work to do on your face."

He groaned dramatically.

"Don't remind me of that. I swear that he will never let me live down the fact that I put my life on the front line and that he then had to save me by piloting an alien ship. Not to mention that I did order him to pilot said ship."

From the reports she had read, she felt that the doctor had every right to be mad. She was glad someone was.

"Anyway, you're right, he'll probably hypo me to sleep once he finds out I wasn't sleeping for a good damn ten hours as instructed."

She smiled, saw him reach to disconnect and panicked.

"Wait, Jim!" He nodded, observing her curiously as she hesitated, mouth opening and closing before she managed to find her voice. "Happy birthday."

She saw his eyes widen. She had never before wished him a happy birthday. It was just too painful to think of it. The corners of his mouth lifted in an uncharacteristically shy smile.

"Thank you… Bye mum."

"Bye sweetheart."

She disconnected and turned away from the monitor feeling, for once, that she had accomplished something in her relationship with her son, Captain James T. Kirk.

* * *

 _ ***anxiously bite nails* So, how did you like it? If you want, please leave a little review, I might get some other Star Trek stories out... But in the mean time, take care and... Live Long And Prosper ;)**_


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